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It’s Andrew’s birthday today, and I felt like writing a short reflection about this day because it’s more than just a birthday for me. It’s a reminder of what I went through.
Andrew is a promise fulfilled. It’s amazing to be able to hold a tangible promise in my arms. And the fact that he is a literal ball of joy is simply wonderful.
He is such a gift to our family and I’m just so grateful to God for being so faithful in this journey of motherhood — the good and difficult.
My Miscarriage Testimony
Andrew is our rainbow baby after a storm season in our lives. We lost a baby in January 2019, and it was a very difficult season.
Miscarriage is a very lonely situation no matter how many people you have around you or how many people say they’ve gone through it (although it does help). That’s why I keep talking about my testimony.
With the baby we lost, I had him/her in my womb for an entire month before actually miscarrying, and every day felt like I was walking in complete darkness, not knowing if the baby would live or die. We prayed fervently with the church for God to save the baby, and the outcome was quite different than what we were asking.
But God is always in the midst of the valley and He always makes things work for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
And the years that have passed since the miscarriage have proved this. God took this season and used it to draw me so close.
I truly had to lean on Him and trust His process and His will.
You can read more of my thoughts in the moment on my personal blog.
A few months after the miscarriage, I became pregnant with Andrew, and the valley didn’t end there. I was so anxious through my pregnancy, especially after I began bleeding randomly one night.
I cried myself to sleep thinking it was happening again.
But this time the baby, Andrew, was fine, and I carried to full term.
It was truly another season of life where I had to completely truth in God no matter the outcome.
Gratefully, Andrew was born January 20, 2020, and I held the promise of God in my own hands.
Filled with Gratitude
Reflecting on Andrew’s life and the life that came before him just fills me with so much gratitude because God truly doesn’t let anything go to waste. He uses every situation for our good and to make us more like Him.
I am just simply filled with so much gratitude today.
And I just want to encourage anyone going through this type of situation or waiting to become a mother. God is perfecting you through the process. He is so compassionate. He is always, always with us. He is truly so good. Let Him fill you with peace in the midst of the storm. Joy will come again. He is a promise keeper. Trust in Him.